Through silence, we enter the Wilderness. In the Wilderness, we are silent long enough to discern and address those parts of ourselves that are "shrouded in darkness," as Sarah Parsons would say (A Clearing Season). We "pay attention to the parts of ourselves that do not flourish," and then we "clear and cultivate a part of that wilderness, to create an open space in it," transforming our lives in the process. A Wilderness practice is for you if you are suffering in any way, whether from everyday stress or the deleterious effects of trauma. You deserve to enjoy your life—and you can. You can again, no matter what you've been through.

 

Ever since my foray into the Wilderness (which, incidentally, constituted much more than a daily meditation practice) I have been turned inside out and upside down. Every aspect of my life has undergone a radical transformation for the better. It was in the rich and profound silence of the Wilderness that I put my broken self back together, and discovered it is indeed possible to live a deeply passionate and fully realized life. For those of you who find yourselves unable to enjoy your lives because of residual heart-ache of whatever variety, I can assure you that it is also possible to live with a deep and abiding sense of peace even (perhaps especially?) if you’ve experienced your share of trauma. Incidentally, it is also possible to live joyfully and abundantly—to discern your life’s work and to do that work in a way that thrills and sustains you without exhausting yourself in the process. We are called to a life that is deep, rich, juicy... and what’s not sexy about that?

 

And yet.

 

And yet, even while we are well aware of the purported benefits of contemplative prayer or a meditation practice, most of us have instead become increasingly adept at distracting ourselves from any sort of deep introspection. Silence “makes us crazy” because when we set aside our distractions/addictions, we are invited to sit with and forced to deal with our "wild selves," which represent those parts of ourselves over which we have little or no control, and which take the form of unwelcome thoughts, disturbing emotions, incessant worry, long-held resentment, physical discomfort, stress, confusion, lack, and the nagging sense that something—though we’re not exactly sure what—is missing in our lives. WHO WANTS TO SIT WITH ALL THAT?! It's uncomfortable stuff. So to keep the discomfort at bay we find countless ways of distracting ourselves. We shop. We binge on Netflix and smart phones. We drink too much, eat too much, work too much. At the extreme end of distraction we develop drug, alcohol and/or sexual addictions.

 

The bad news is that your wild selves have much more influence in your life than you might imagine. The good news is that you can deal with them. In the Wilderness, we sit with our wild selves and we listen—long enough to calm and, finally, to tame them. 

 

Friend, hear me. You no longer have to distract yourself from your own life—from your deepest self. It isn't necessary to struggle incessantly; to work yourself to the bone while still coming up short. And yes, I am aware that stepping out into the Wilderness, where the silence can be deafening if not downright terrifying, isn’t something that most of us do willingly, even with the promise that life is radically different on the other side of such an experience. I went kicking and screaming, but I went, and now I want you to come with me. The Wilderness experience is the portal through which we find Peace. Joy. Answers. Depth. Passion. Atonement. Abundance. Forgiveness. And God, if you're looking for God.   

 

Specifically, in the two years since I entered the Wilderness, every aspect of my life has turned right-side up. Two years ago, I was shattered emotionally, and so sick and tired that I could hardly function. Some days (let's be honest—a lot of days) I couldn't get out of bed. I don't need to tell you that it's hard to financially support oneself from one's bed. My brilliant projects were languishing because I didn't have the personal power to move them forward. And, perhaps worst of all, I had just been through a major life change and had absolutely no idea what it was I wanted to do with my life from that point forward. I was forced into the desert and, while there, I chose to go into the Wilderness (there is a difference). But the truth is, I really only went because I was too broken to do anything else. (To read about my first few days in the Wilderness click HERE.)

 

Fast forward to now. Today, I am healthier than I have been in decades, my work is rich and fulfilling and, best of all, I feel happy, peaceful, and powerful beyond measure. 

 

There are no magic bullets or instant fixes in the Wilderness, and my life isn't perfect. I still have plenty to work on. But the difference between then and now is so extraordinary that I'm officially a zealot when it comes to embracing the Wilderness experience. To be clear, my life didn't change this quickly and this profoundly because I employed some sophisticated strategy and worked myself to the bone. It changed for the better, in every respect, precisely because I didn't do those things. Instead, I got still. I listened. I surrendered. I went deep into myself and I sat in the shadows until the Light broke through. I prayed (because I happen to be a person who prays) for peace, and healing and clarity. Eventually, I got all that and more. 

 

When there are bills to be paid and decisions to be made, it is counter-intuitive to walk away from it all, even if you only walk away from it all for an hour (or less) a day to "sit in the Wilderness." To the outer world it can look a lot like doing nothing. When one is under great pressure to figure it all out, to be happy, to make money, to find answers, doing nothing seems irresponsible. It is not. (And, of course, in the Wilderness you're hardly doing nothing.)

 

It is true what they say: Life doesn't have to be as hard as we make it, and healing is possible, no matter how "guilty" or "wounded" you are. It is true that you can relax and let go and that when you do, things eventually start falling into place in wonderful ways that you might never have imagined. I have tested the theory am ready to declare it sound. 

 

When it comes to the Wilderness, you don’t have to want to go, you just have to go. In so doing, you will receive guidance and discover a deep undercurrent of joy no matter your present circumstances, your past history, or your uncertain future. 

 

Be brave. Allow yourself to let go, just a little. Set aside your distractions slowly, gently. Step out into the Wilderness, which has always called you and always will.

 

I'll come with.

 

Sara

From the prologue to INTO THE WILDERNESS: 

A 12 Month Guide to Inner(and Outer)  Transformation